A day in a life of a Kelly

Once upon a time there was a young boy named CptKelly. CptKelly was 18 years old and lived in Silver Spring, Maryland. While walking home from school one day, a Black Bird jumped out from behind a and tackled CptKelly to the ground. But just when he was about to let out a scream for help, CptKelly realized that the Black Bird was only licking his face, not trying to bite it off. At that moment, CptKelly decided to keep the Black Bird as a pet. And on the way home he decided to name his pet Black Bird . When CptKelly and his new pet finally got home, guess who was standing on the front porch? That's right, it was CptKelly's mother, . And boy was she surprised to see a Black Bird following CptKelly into the yard! What in world is that? shouted . It's a Black Bird, answered CptKelly. Dah, I can see that, CptKelly, but what on earth is it doing here? said . It's my new pet! answered CptKelly. Oh you think so do you? remarked . I wouldn't get your hopes up. You know how your father hates Black Birds. But, well, I suppose you can keep him until your father comes home. And with that CptKelly grabbed by the scruff of the neck and led his new pet into the house--even though he knew his father was probably going to dissaprove. Once in the house, CptKelly and played and played, that is until CptKelly's favorite television show, Supernatural, started. At that point CptKelly forgot all about having an unsupervised run of the house. That is until half way through Supernatural, when CptKelly was brought back to reality when he heard his father shout, ROLFSTOMP!! CptKelly! Get your in the basement...NOW!! With that CptKelly rushed into the basement to see what all the fuss was about. When he entered the basement, there stood his father, , pointing toward the Couch. Will someone please explain that? asked his father. Then, as CptKelly followed his father's finger to where it was pointing, he instantly knew what his father was so upset about. There, smack dab in the middle of the Couch, was the biggest pile of Bird doo-doo he had ever seen! I don't EVEN want to know how that got there, said . But you had better get it cleaned up now! And you had better get rid of whatever it is that could have done such a thing! Well, knowing his father as well as he did, CptKelly knew there was no sense even asking his father if he could keep for a pet. So without hesitation, CptKelly set out to find where was hiding. After a few minutes of looking, CptKelly discovered crouched beneath the table that CptKelly did his on. Come on, , it's time to find you a new home. And hey, don't look at me that way, I'm not the one who did the dirty deed on the Couch! scolded CptKelly. Thanks to you I'll never get to have my own pet Bird!! And with that CptKelly led out of the house and down to the local . They had a pet section and CptKelly knew the owner would find a good home. So after saying good-bye to , and thanking the owner of , CptKelly walked backed home and attempted to dround his sorrows by slamming down a half dozen waters. But CptKelly's pitty party came to an abrupt end when his father reminded him about the mess he had neglected to clean up. And low and behold, midway through the clean-up, CptKelly suddenly became thankful that someone else was going to have to do it from now on. The End.