Short story #5

Tonight is raining again.Has few days since it started and I don't see that it will go to soon.I will like to never end.I like to hear the sound of the rain. Always this sound made me a state of calm which for me is pure like my own family.Without my wife and kids I would not been the man of today .They are everything for me .I can't imagine my life without them.Every time i must go away i think if i will ever see them.Now i am heading fast home.My body is burning and i feel pain. I made a big mistake and that can cost me everything i build in the last ten years. In front of all i am a devoted husband,a loving father and a good friend ready any time to help all.But the reality is another one ,i am just a monster with a human face .
I would like if it could the rain to wash all my sins.Beyond the house walls , of the district i live and were always the police keep an eye for his people protection ,exist another world.One filled with violence ,hate and poverty .Let to sink deep without nobody to give a hand of help . In the rain we all are the same.Or is only my own opinion.I hear the city sound which it is loosing some were between good and evil.I hear a police siren or from an ambulance.I see in my face a mother which is looking for her kid asking the empty souls from inside .Without emotions .Simple marionettes in the hand of a puppet master .She is a mother which keeps near the chest an old photograph oh her child crying and asking all "did you so my child?".
Once i met a women like her.I was the kid .We were poor .Why i think now at the past?Maybe because the future is no longer for me .How i became like that?Who i'm I?Yes,I recall like how was yesterday.The first time i put my hand on a gun.The first time i pulled the trigger .First person i killed was my step father .He was regularly beating me and her ,my mother.I could'n take no more.Since the day i made fifteenth i stood . I took his gun and shot without any regret.It was my revenge and i felt good .I punished him for all he made .After i ran away without looking back .I can still hear my mother crying ,cursing the day she met him .I just left without thinking of nothing .Since then only this i am doing ,i'm running from every thing.
Who i am? Just an assassin which kills for the people once i hated.Still hate but killing is in my blood .I'm good only of this,don't know something else to do . What is my name?I can't remember my real name ...I know only the name gave by those which fear me in this cruel world, Dietrich.I'm the assassin which all fear .That makes me feel somehow good.Thw one which kills without mercy.How much time will be since this two world of mine will collide i wonder.I'm a sinner.The rain washed the trail of blood from the ground .Why i am like this? I hesitated for the first time.The rest i can't remember.I only know that i was staying in my own blood while the rain it was whispering her song .Now i am in a hurry...I hurry to see my family for the last time,to see their smile,to feel a last kiss from my wife lips.But i don't think i will make it there.I'm cold and can't feel my body no more.I am trying to remember their faces but i can't.Around me is only mist.
At last i can see my house were my life is normal,happy or was,i don't know no more.I smile but my body is weak.I see Josephine coming at me.She looks scared.I hear only fragments"Mark...Mark what wrong with you?"and i wonder why she cries. Her chest ,arm is worm .I'm tired.I see people around me and darkness.