In here i will post my stories ,poems and different things that comes in my empty mind
Dany motto: "Smile even if the life is harder sometime"
The dark angel # 5
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Hearing those world the angels could not believe that was true. He was the strongest from all the angels which were on earth and to die by the simple demon for them was incomprehensible. All were standing quiet like stones without moving, waiting that he will come back to them. One of the angels turn back toward the old man to ask him how he knows but he was already gone. Behind was only dead black butterflies scattered around the place.
"Were I'm? Who I am ? "
"You are in a world filled with shadows ". Said a calm voice. "The next question i believe will be who I am. I am the darkness from your soul. The enemy of who you chased all this years with the doubt in your heart." While saying those words the stranger watched the angel expression from his face. Was like a little kid which just started to think for his self without the others help.
"I can't feel a thing beside cold. Why?" asked the angel. "How i got here...I can't remember"
"Because...Today you died. Another soul will born soon from your own blood at midnight burning the rest of you. Now on that world now you are just a empty carcass from were soon hungry beast will feed." The stranger who was talking stopped then smiled while he was linking his lip with his tongue.
"I remember ...I remember that smile, from that time when i broke a demon mask. Is the same like his. Said the angel.
After 500 years Himera and the commander of the angels army were again face to face. Without any armoury or masks to protect their fragile souls in the darkness were they felt. The angel body felt above Himera grave. Near the body the young demon was calling his animal to feed. A sacrifice was made that Himera can reborn. A life for another one.
"Remember the real reason why we started fighting 500 years ago ,yelled the demon. Just call my name and i will arise from your blood and my broken sword will be my shield from now on"
Above ,on earth the demons were satisfied for now with the angel death .They were moving back for the moment.Only one stayed behind.Was Rey ,the young demon with red hair which killed the angel with one blow waiting in the dark cold night for someone to arrive.
"Were I'm? Who I am ? "
"You are in a world filled with shadows ". Said a calm voice. "The next question i believe will be who I am. I am the darkness from your soul. The enemy of who you chased all this years with the doubt in your heart." While saying those words the stranger watched the angel expression from his face. Was like a little kid which just started to think for his self without the others help.
"I can't feel a thing beside cold. Why?" asked the angel. "How i got here...I can't remember"
"Because...Today you died. Another soul will born soon from your own blood at midnight burning the rest of you. Now on that world now you are just a empty carcass from were soon hungry beast will feed." The stranger who was talking stopped then smiled while he was linking his lip with his tongue.
"I remember ...I remember that smile, from that time when i broke a demon mask. Is the same like his. Said the angel.
After 500 years Himera and the commander of the angels army were again face to face. Without any armoury or masks to protect their fragile souls in the darkness were they felt. The angel body felt above Himera grave. Near the body the young demon was calling his animal to feed. A sacrifice was made that Himera can reborn. A life for another one.
"Remember the real reason why we started fighting 500 years ago ,yelled the demon. Just call my name and i will arise from your blood and my broken sword will be my shield from now on"
Above ,on earth the demons were satisfied for now with the angel death .They were moving back for the moment.Only one stayed behind.Was Rey ,the young demon with red hair which killed the angel with one blow waiting in the dark cold night for someone to arrive.
Total Comments 8
Comments
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here a short chapter
i think i lost my touch of writhing on this story lol
hm can someone tell my the mistakes ? is the only story i don't have a romanian version O.O sorry
enjoyPosted 12-02-2009 at 04:07 PM by Dany1908
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i believe it's quite good [:Posted 12-02-2009 at 04:16 PM by HollowX - thanks for the comment hollowPosted 12-02-2009 at 04:37 PM by Dany1908
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yee..very good one Dany ..^^ congrats hehe..write more.. ^_^Posted 12-02-2009 at 05:21 PM by LoveTifa - At first I will star with the mistakes.. i hope you don't mind ..
"Hearing those world the angels could not believe "
; - i didn't catch the meaning.. you wanted to say " world " or " word " , but anyway the word must be at the plural.
" and to die by the simple demon for them was incomprehensible" - the gerund suits better "dying "
" waiting that he will come back to them" - it would have sounded more english if you would have said : waiting for him to come back. ( also you cannot use past and future in the same sentence)
" One of the angels turn back toward" - turned back
"Were I'm? Who I am ? " - Were am I ? Who am I ?
"The enemy of who you chased all this years " - whom / these
" Because...today you died . Another soul will born soon " - you have died / another soul will be born soon
" A sacrifice was made that Himera can reborn " - A sacrifice was made so that the Himera reborn
"with the angel death " - angel's death
That is all that i could see at first sight . The story is rather interesting , with original elements . You've done a nice job ! Keep working , and please pay a little more attention with the spelling / grammar , etc.
Till now you've done well .Posted 12-29-2009 at 07:44 PM by Neith - D'oh ... I made a mistake:
""Were I'm? " -- actuali is Where am I ?
sorry for that , and for the duble post .Posted 12-29-2009 at 07:49 PM by Neith - thank u for showing me the mistakes
Posted 12-29-2009 at 07:51 PM by Dany1908 -
Exelent as always~Posted 02-01-2010 at 07:22 PM by Deathknight
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