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Ponderings. | My Blog
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Monster me

Posted 01-08-2011 at 05:50 AM by Izumi43 (Ponderings.)

Monster me is returning blood thirsty. Blood lust in its eyes. Its so hungry that it scares me. Do you know how many times I've fought it? Cried myself to sleep whispering over and over again trying to forget what is eating me. It doesn't just pulse through me it burns in me and screams at me shattering my hope and plotting my ruin. Once I ran to someone I trust, once I fought alone. Tonight though I long to give in. I'll just take my mutilators and cut away the pain. Oh the sweet relief that comes.
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You are gone

Posted 08-02-2010 at 02:52 AM by Izumi43 (Ponderings.)

Clinging to you tightly my breath mingles with yours
Eyes filled with sadness look away while I hold you in love.
Hope fades, I’m leaving and you are gone.

Remembering you in my dreams alone at night I wake to memories
The past floats by showing me I still love you.
Slowly the nightmare descends, waiting there in painful hope
Finding broken promises, laying there cold and dead.
I leave and you are gone

My head reels as I turn
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Faded

Posted 05-18-2010 at 06:32 PM by Izumi43 (Ponderings.)

Whispers fade as
Thoughts of you consume my mind.
Walking down the path
I see you, feel you, want you
Tears slide down my cheeks
I ache to be with you once more

I know you are real and that I am real to you
We were made beautifully and fit together
Like pieces of a puzzle
But I can feel myself losing you.
And I know you are losing me.
We are fading, fading like the setting sun
Fading like the whispers
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In The Night

Posted 04-13-2010 at 11:09 PM by Izumi43 (Ponderings.)

In The Night


<3 I hear Him in the night,
I Am filled with a wonderous fright.
What if he comes today?
Am I ready? Will I stay?
I cling to my covers and weep,
I am not ready for the leap.
How can I leave when I’ve betrayed Him who made me?
How can I run into his arms, the man who allowed me to see?
How can I show Him I love Him so dearly
When I lie through my teeth ever so clearly?
Am I really so very
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Hawk Ape Mouse Who are you?

Posted 03-19-2010 at 02:40 PM by Izumi43 (Ponderings.)

I have low self esteem. Well most of the time and when i was at home group last night the leader gave me this illustration.


You are a mouse in a field and you see a hawk flying high above you and circling. What are you feeling? Fear most likely. What can you do, you have no where to run to. He's so much faster than you.

You are a Hawk you see the mouse and you're drooling. It has no where to go and you are all superior.


You are an...
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