Friendship
Posted 09-24-2008 at 02:05 PM by mimzy
Ok i had to put this one up coz one of my friends criticized it and i want to know more opinions, he said it doesnt sound like a poem and it isnt poetical its more literary....so let me know what you all think....thanks...
A lifetime can be likened to a lonely beach of sand
A stranger makes a mark one day
An imprint of a hand
A hand reaches out through the despair
No questions asked, no judgments made
A gentle knowing look and hope rises again
I emerge from the darkness whole
And with knowledge that one true friend will be at my side
As we travel the hills and valleys
To continue our walk down the path of life
As time goes by
The beach once clear
Is now a cluttered field of memories
And keep-sakes of the ones we hold dear
The ones we cherish
Time spent with these friends
Will never ever perish
A lifetime can be likened to a lonely beach of sand
A stranger makes a mark one day
An imprint of a hand
A hand reaches out through the despair
No questions asked, no judgments made
A gentle knowing look and hope rises again
I emerge from the darkness whole
And with knowledge that one true friend will be at my side
As we travel the hills and valleys
To continue our walk down the path of life
As time goes by
The beach once clear
Is now a cluttered field of memories
And keep-sakes of the ones we hold dear
The ones we cherish
Time spent with these friends
Will never ever perish
Total Comments 8
Comments
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Um firstt it will give a rate 100/100 ..and it sound kind alike poem
Posted 09-24-2008 at 02:22 PM by Yuukee
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i like it, not all poems rhyme, almost feels like you put a lot of meaning into this...heartfelt. good work.Posted 09-24-2008 at 02:41 PM by vesta -
good work mimzy like alwaysPosted 09-24-2008 at 03:08 PM by Dany1908 -
yeah its good i like it
Posted 09-25-2008 at 09:37 AM by animerulez71 -
thank you so much guys...now i can rub it in to my friend...hehehePosted 09-27-2008 at 01:21 PM by mimzy -
great poem id give it/ and ur friends are idiots if they think it isnt a poem because it isPosted 09-29-2008 at 04:20 AM by |*PNA*| ARES - its good, and has alot of emotion in it but i sorta agree with ur friend,now this is my point of view, poems are more powerfull when they rhymePosted 02-24-2009 at 03:17 AM by grom223
- samne as that guys, it doesnt look like a poem.
I mean I understand it :eek: lol :pPosted 03-06-2009 at 11:08 PM by Anaztazioch
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