So, it's been awhile. I've been gone for a long time and I don't talk much to anyone anymore... It would seem I grew up in a direction that required my immediate attention and as I don't want to mention the fact that it was all for naught. I remember the laughs, as they were pretty funny. And the moments of sentimentality... All or most of my friends are gone and I am left with the new members of another generation of AC.
What can I say? I reached a new age of maturity and it landed me here. You know, I'm sort of glad I'm getting back to the computer life style. My lungs needed a break. I miss the past though, as most would. And I miss the brotherhood. The companionship. The connection to people from so far away. It was good. But I've lost a number of skills due to the fact that I live where one must prove how tough they are to avoid being harassed or held up at gun/knife point. And its funny because my "hood" isn't so bad.
Well, Honestly? I just wanted to try this blog out. I get the feeling I've failed my others and seeing as I dont know how to delete them properly I'll let them serve as things not to do? Although one really amuses me. The one where I chipped my tooth haha. Aww man, that day sucked bawls...
What can I say? I reached a new age of maturity and it landed me here. You know, I'm sort of glad I'm getting back to the computer life style. My lungs needed a break. I miss the past though, as most would. And I miss the brotherhood. The companionship. The connection to people from so far away. It was good. But I've lost a number of skills due to the fact that I live where one must prove how tough they are to avoid being harassed or held up at gun/knife point. And its funny because my "hood" isn't so bad.
Well, Honestly? I just wanted to try this blog out. I get the feeling I've failed my others and seeing as I dont know how to delete them properly I'll let them serve as things not to do? Although one really amuses me. The one where I chipped my tooth haha. Aww man, that day sucked bawls...
Random thoughts
Dudes....today is what? the 28 of October... probably a good thing to write the date for my first blog (even though it will tell you at the top with the exact time and stuff...) So i felt like putting this blog up just so i can ease my mind maybe write some stories i don't know yet... and i like the idea of hving a blog. So yeah dudes. So i guess i should start off with whats on my mind right now.
Not to long i got home from running a mile. I'm pretty disappointed at my time (6.07 minutes). And i know i could do better but something in me wouldn't try. Its hard to explain but... it juust wouldn't. I tried to build adrenaline to get my self mad, but even though i couldnt. It was so fustrating, that i couldn't think straight about the girl i have such strong feelings for, and i couldn't get mad. And it makes me fall to despair that i can't see her in my mind anymore. Its only been a couple weeks since i last saw her but i can't see her and i with each other anymore. And when i finally did feel something i felt crappy... you know like depressed and ....dude writing this blog is ****ing hard, my mind won't run.
*sigh* .... every time i look at the sky, i begin to lose feeling and i go numb. i was i was always numb. That way i wouldn't have to feel anything when i tell the girl i love i love her and she rejects me because we're just friends. Yup. that would be awesome. and not having to love her naymore would be the greatest, but everytime we meet its like we're meant to be. and when she leaves my eyes get clouded and i almost cry, but the tears won't fall. Its like being cut over and over and the blood won't fall. Its painful watching her go. because deep down i want to spend everyday with her, seeing her beautiful smile... actually i like everything about her, except the her bluntness it makes me feel stupid like if i say something she'll look at me seriously and go "no" and my confidence is shot down XD ghod i hate that but i also like that about her. And to me she's just so strong and cute. And i always find myself thinking about her and i dream about her all the time. its like i'd say 80% of my dreams are about her. And when she's sad i'm sad and when she's mad i'm mad and when shes happy i'm happy. And when other guys play around with her i get so ****ing jealosu and uselsess knowing i can't do anything! FFUUCCKCKKKKK.... and if theres anything i hate its when i let her down... i hate letting her down... because it tears me apart when i do.... i don't tihnk her dad likes me but her mom is cool with me ^_^ so thats cool right?
I try me hardest to stop loving her but i can't its like trying to pull me heart out of my chest, theres no one as cool as her, even though to me it seems like we're not even compatible we don't really have much in common and even our humor is different yet i have such strong feelings for her. I'm really not sure if its love or just affection or whatever, all i know is that my feelings for her are deep. i would get her anything in the world, no matter what it cost me, even my life. But sometimes i question my feelings and i get so confused. *sigh*
well i guess thats it? ^_^ thanks for reading..if you did XD if you didn't thats cool and i don't get any comments thats cool, this was mostly for me to find myself in my writing, to give me some peace of mind....
Not to long i got home from running a mile. I'm pretty disappointed at my time (6.07 minutes). And i know i could do better but something in me wouldn't try. Its hard to explain but... it juust wouldn't. I tried to build adrenaline to get my self mad, but even though i couldnt. It was so fustrating, that i couldn't think straight about the girl i have such strong feelings for, and i couldn't get mad. And it makes me fall to despair that i can't see her in my mind anymore. Its only been a couple weeks since i last saw her but i can't see her and i with each other anymore. And when i finally did feel something i felt crappy... you know like depressed and ....dude writing this blog is ****ing hard, my mind won't run.
*sigh* .... every time i look at the sky, i begin to lose feeling and i go numb. i was i was always numb. That way i wouldn't have to feel anything when i tell the girl i love i love her and she rejects me because we're just friends. Yup. that would be awesome. and not having to love her naymore would be the greatest, but everytime we meet its like we're meant to be. and when she leaves my eyes get clouded and i almost cry, but the tears won't fall. Its like being cut over and over and the blood won't fall. Its painful watching her go. because deep down i want to spend everyday with her, seeing her beautiful smile... actually i like everything about her, except the her bluntness it makes me feel stupid like if i say something she'll look at me seriously and go "no" and my confidence is shot down XD ghod i hate that but i also like that about her. And to me she's just so strong and cute. And i always find myself thinking about her and i dream about her all the time. its like i'd say 80% of my dreams are about her. And when she's sad i'm sad and when she's mad i'm mad and when shes happy i'm happy. And when other guys play around with her i get so ****ing jealosu and uselsess knowing i can't do anything! FFUUCCKCKKKKK.... and if theres anything i hate its when i let her down... i hate letting her down... because it tears me apart when i do.... i don't tihnk her dad likes me but her mom is cool with me ^_^ so thats cool right?
I try me hardest to stop loving her but i can't its like trying to pull me heart out of my chest, theres no one as cool as her, even though to me it seems like we're not even compatible we don't really have much in common and even our humor is different yet i have such strong feelings for her. I'm really not sure if its love or just affection or whatever, all i know is that my feelings for her are deep. i would get her anything in the world, no matter what it cost me, even my life. But sometimes i question my feelings and i get so confused. *sigh*
well i guess thats it? ^_^ thanks for reading..if you did XD if you didn't thats cool and i don't get any comments thats cool, this was mostly for me to find myself in my writing, to give me some peace of mind....
Total Comments 2
Comments
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All Things Come To Light Soon... It's a Struggle If It's Worth Fighting For, Follow Your Heart Even If It Kills You Atleast In Da End You Got Your Answer.....Posted 10-28-2009 at 11:51 PM by SkyKingIkki09
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yeah.... i guess soPosted 10-29-2009 at 12:08 AM by Perverted Monk
Updated 10-30-2009 at 01:39 AM by Perverted Monk
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