offesinve jokes 10
1 - Three Things Women Can Do That Men Can't:
a. Bleed for a week and not die.
b. Give milk without eating grass
c. Bury an eight inch bone faster than any dog!
2 - In a recent scientific research project, it was proved that Beer contains the female hormone estrogen. That's why after a six pack you can't drive.
3 - How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with , "A man once told me... "
4 - The boy asks his dad: "What's the difference between a '****' and a '*****'?" The dad gets a Penthouse magazine, draws a circle around a crotch and says: "Everything inside the circle is a '*****', everything outside the circle is a '****'"
5 - Why do women have arms?
Have you any idea how long it would take to LICK a bathroom clean
6 - What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? You can unscrew a light bulb!
7 - In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
8 - How is a woman like an airplane?
Both have cockpits.
9 - There's a Space Shuttle mission to the moon with 2 monkeys and a woman on board. The headquarters in the US calls: "Monkey #1, Monkey #1 report to coms for instructions." He sits down and he is told to release the pressure in compartment 1, increase the temperature in engine 4 and to release oxygen to the reactors. So the monkey does the pressure, temperature, and releases the oxygen. A few moments later headquarters calls again: "Monkey #2, Monkey #2 report to coms for instructions." He sits down and he is told to add Carbon Dioxide to room 4, to stop the fuel injection to engine 3, to add nitrogen to the fuel compartment and to analyse the solar radiation. So the monkey does the carbon dioxide, the fuel injection, the nitrogen and the analysis of solar radiation. A little later on, headquarters calls again: "Woman, woman please report to coms for instructions." She sits down and just as she is about to be told what to do she says..... "I know, I know!! Feed the monkeys, and don't touch a damn thing."
10 - How do you scare a man? Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.
a. Bleed for a week and not die.
b. Give milk without eating grass
c. Bury an eight inch bone faster than any dog!
2 - In a recent scientific research project, it was proved that Beer contains the female hormone estrogen. That's why after a six pack you can't drive.
3 - How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with , "A man once told me... "
4 - The boy asks his dad: "What's the difference between a '****' and a '*****'?" The dad gets a Penthouse magazine, draws a circle around a crotch and says: "Everything inside the circle is a '*****', everything outside the circle is a '****'"
5 - Why do women have arms?
Have you any idea how long it would take to LICK a bathroom clean
6 - What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? You can unscrew a light bulb!
7 - In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
8 - How is a woman like an airplane?
Both have cockpits.
9 - There's a Space Shuttle mission to the moon with 2 monkeys and a woman on board. The headquarters in the US calls: "Monkey #1, Monkey #1 report to coms for instructions." He sits down and he is told to release the pressure in compartment 1, increase the temperature in engine 4 and to release oxygen to the reactors. So the monkey does the pressure, temperature, and releases the oxygen. A few moments later headquarters calls again: "Monkey #2, Monkey #2 report to coms for instructions." He sits down and he is told to add Carbon Dioxide to room 4, to stop the fuel injection to engine 3, to add nitrogen to the fuel compartment and to analyse the solar radiation. So the monkey does the carbon dioxide, the fuel injection, the nitrogen and the analysis of solar radiation. A little later on, headquarters calls again: "Woman, woman please report to coms for instructions." She sits down and just as she is about to be told what to do she says..... "I know, I know!! Feed the monkeys, and don't touch a damn thing."
10 - How do you scare a man? Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.
Total Comments 16
Comments
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*is not allowed to comment*
TT.TTPosted 06-05-2009 at 10:54 PM by BlazeCommanderASCE
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7 is ROFLMAO! XDPosted 06-05-2009 at 10:55 PM by Ragnarok -
2, 6 and 7 are epic
Posted 06-05-2009 at 10:57 PM by ProDeathblow - Yay I am allowed to leave a comment now:
2 is just perfect.
also, a question:
1b: if a man eats grass he can give milk?!
SOOO COOOL <3Posted 06-05-2009 at 10:57 PM by BlazeCommanderASCE - it works for me blaze
it just has to be "special" grassPosted 06-05-2009 at 11:01 PM by ProDeathblow -
i dont get number 10Posted 06-05-2009 at 11:22 PM by Kisuke -
lol pro...........Quote:Originally Posted by ProDeathblow
it works for me blaze
it just has to be "special" grass
Posted 06-05-2009 at 11:25 PM by mikeboyslim24 -
1, 2, 6, 7, and 10 are awesome.Posted 06-05-2009 at 11:30 PM by ZiggyBoy91 -
haha n1's i got another one
God created man and it was good. Then God created woman. As he saw what he did and created alcohol and tabac.Posted 06-05-2009 at 11:34 PM by Z-Frost -
LOL those are pricelessPosted 06-05-2009 at 11:50 PM by Irongiulio -
Rice is thrown at weddingsQuote:Originally Posted by Kisuke i dont get number 10Posted 06-06-2009 at 12:28 AM by pistachio20 - Why did god create drugs?
So that men can completely forget about women.Posted 06-06-2009 at 04:12 AM by ultimentman2 -
lmao awesome jokes xDPosted 06-06-2009 at 05:55 AM by Chicken993 -
2 is just too great xDPosted 06-06-2009 at 06:03 AM by CopperKing -
Why don't women wear watches?SpoilerPosted 07-31-2009 at 03:17 PM by Vincent1875 - I Like #7.
Here's a couple fer ya:
Why is there a hole in the tip of the cock?
Spoiler
Why do men name their cocks?
Spoiler
Posted 09-05-2009 at 02:09 AM by
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