Stupidity...
Posted 03-09-2009 at 10:58 PM by White
It is everywhere....
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are
things people actually said in court, word
for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the
torment of staying calm while these
exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you
forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in
voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next
morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: getting laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a
new attorney?
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are
things people actually said in court, word
for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the
torment of staying calm while these
exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you
forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in
voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next
morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: getting laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a
new attorney?
Total Comments 19
Comments
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ROFL! hahahahaPosted 03-09-2009 at 11:00 PM by DarkUmagon
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this is a good example of why some people should not be allowed to reproduce.Posted 03-09-2009 at 11:02 PM by ZiggyBoy91 
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lol wth? these people are stupidPosted 03-09-2009 at 11:02 PM by pistachio20 -
THese people make me feel like smart.. :/Posted 03-09-2009 at 11:04 PM by Kira -
XD yes there is something called the darwin awards and they are given to people who die in extremely stupid ways if you ever get the chance go to the website or buy the book you will undoubtedly piss yourself from laughing so hard....
Posted 03-09-2009 at 11:04 PM by White -
lol wow............Posted 03-09-2009 at 11:04 PM by elvispacman -
lmao!!!!! -dies on floor from laughing-Posted 03-09-2009 at 11:05 PM by spiritsamuri -
bwuahahahhahahahahhahahahaPosted 03-09-2009 at 11:13 PM by Irongiulio - I'm sorry but if i would of been at any of these i would of been the guy in the back bursting out laughing, and causing the judge to say "ORDER IN THE COURT!!!!!"
I wouldn't be able to contain myself XDPosted 03-09-2009 at 11:23 PM by ultimentman2 -
lol
looooooooolPosted 03-09-2009 at 11:28 PM by mikeboyslim24 -
I like the guy who decided to full fill his dream of flying and decides to attach a bunch of helium ballons to his lawn chair and brings some sandwiches and beer that won the darwin award rofl, yet he still lived O.o one of the few on there that won it and lived hahaPosted 03-09-2009 at 11:54 PM by owarwick_1993 - XD i saw one about this guy who destroyed his internal organs by sticking a pressure hose up his ass, the hose shot 6 atmospheres worth of pressure into his colon, ripping it to shreds...he died of a massive internal hemmorage
im thinking of amking somethig called a daily darwin what do you think? 1 darwin award a dayPosted 03-09-2009 at 11:56 PM by White -
omg......omg....lmao xDPosted 03-10-2009 at 12:01 AM by krazy13kitty - ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
this just cracks me up lolPosted 03-10-2009 at 12:07 AM by mikeboyslim24 -
OMG this is simply HILARIOUS.Posted 03-10-2009 at 12:08 AM by joon360
Updated 03-10-2009 at 12:08 AM by joon360 (My own stupidity.) -
Rofl!
"ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?"
"WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ."
This was my fav one lmao xDPosted 03-10-2009 at 12:08 AM by Karyuudan - go for it there are plenty of imbeciles out thereQuote:Originally Posted by White
XD i saw one about this guy who destroyed his internal organs by sticking a pressure hose up his ass, the hose shot 6 atmospheres worth of pressure into his colon, ripping it to shreds...he died of a massive internal hemmorage
im thinking of amking somethig called a daily darwin what do you think? 1 darwin award a day
Posted 03-10-2009 at 12:35 AM by owarwick_1993 -
LMAO the first one was awesomePosted 03-10-2009 at 01:42 AM by Uryuu Ishida -
Lol...these attorneys are really stupid...Posted 08-01-2009 at 03:25 AM by Savara
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