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#1 (permalink) |
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Ultimate Hokage
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ok here it goes
chapter ''1'' just a normal day huh!? this day im still not beleveing what happen to me this day 16 year old haseo tamizure(thats me) was having a regular day at school i was studying for my test and doing my work as usual i got homw and did my homework i went back to schoolground to hang out with my friends we were going to play basketball but the ball had no air so we played football when we were playing yuushi accidentaly threw the ball to yuzo he had to go to the nurse so i was left alone yuushi went with him so as i was walking back home i saw a shadow appear of of nowhere and there no object or nobody to make the shadow as the shadow was coming closer to me i got frightened then it popped up from the ground and grabbed my shadow i got frightened and did a backflip when i did that the one that was causing the shadow came out of the ground and i screamed holy ****!!! he shut me up just by pointing at my mouth he said i need to return to HQ i will see you tommorrow i started thinking what did he mean by ''im going to see you tommorow''? so i went home ate my ramen and went to sleep today was wednesday we usually get free time in the morning on wednesday because our teacher gets too sleepy my friends and i were talking then i felt something punch my stomach it didnt hurt that much then they punched it harder then i saw me falling but i still saw my body standing up! i looked at my right arm and it had a metal knight glove and my skin was transparent black! A-A-and i had no shadow! then i realized i am my shadow then i stood up looking behind me was the guy from yesterday he told me his name akiyuki juushin but he looked different like me then the teacher came in i tried to speak to the teacher but couldnt hear me! then she came in with akiyuki! but-but wasn't he over there and now he is over there? the teacher said we have a new student akiyuki juushin could this day get any weirder? i will post the next chapter later
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#2 (permalink) |
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Ultimate Hokage
Lvl.8
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: In your ass. Deal with it.
Posts: 1,356
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There are quite a few grammer mistakes, but again, im not the one to tell. My grammer is horrible, lol.
Its pretty good imo, i'd like you continue on, but i'm not really liking the plot all that much.
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