[Discussion] Onimusha : Dawn of Dreams

[ffp]

WOW!! this movie amazes me... for the fact that i didn't think that a director could leave out every possible climax for the entire length of a movie, for what seemed like the intent of boring the audience. every, and when i say every, i mean EVERY fight that was in the movie was under 10 seconds, literally. the only part of the fight that you get to see is just before it, and then immediately just after it. i kept reassuring myself after every let-down that the next fight i would actually get to watch, and then just before the next fight i would be so excited after watching 10,20,30 minutes + of straight dialogue and set up for the fight.... to NO avail. the entire movie is one huge recap of the movie itself if you can make sense of that. i really liked the games which is why i even sat through the entire thing. but god damn it, there was NOT one thing that can justify the eternity of bordom that this movie is. usually it's a hard question to answer " so what's the worst movie you've ever watched?", but no longer will i hesitate to answer that it was the steaming pile of rat placenta : Onimusha : Dawn of Dreams. the director needs to be sued, castrated, and then put on the guillotine, then have his family enslaved and put into a turkish prison to fluff the pillows of the death-row inmates.

i give this movie.. NO STARS out of five, that's right, it's not even on the rating system, not even on par with DEAD FRIEND, not even worth of being in the same landfill as KAZAAM, not even worth the bullet that you will put through your brain after you watch it, which is absolutely what i'm trying to defer you from doing at all costs.

please, take my word for it, if you are ever so masochistic that you want to feel pain on this kind of level, go jump feet first into a wood chipper, or set on a wolverine, or put your hand into a blender, or put yourself in the dryer somehow, just please, whatever you do never, never, NEVER!! watch Onimusha : Dawn of Dreams!

[skoubri]

Originally Posted by ffp

Onimusha : Dawn of Dreams. the director needs to be sued, castrated, and then put on the guillotine, then have his family enslaved and put into a turkish prison to fluff the pillows of the death-row inmates.

I laughed so hard with this... How did you think of that?? The fluffing thing??? lol...

Seriously now.. You sound as if it was a horrible movie. Actually maybe the word horrible is not enough... I haven't watched this movie and I didn't even have it in my to-watch list. I guess I can keep this movie in mind in case I'm seriously pissed and I want to laugh with a crappy movie??? I hope it at least serves this purpose lol.

Thanks for the warning though... I have to tell you, you scared me a little bit...

[ffp]

dude, don't even go there, this is the worst movie i have ever, seen it's a joke how they made it. i couldn't believe how they censored all the fights. seriously, who looked at the final draft and said "man, this thing is good to go"?!?! the part that gets me is this movie had to go through the approval of investors, AND THEY WERE ALL OK WITH IT!!!!!!!

[DarkUmagon]

I think someone just merged the cg scenes in the game and made it into a movie?

[ffp]

Originally Posted by DarkUmagon

I think someone just merged the cg scenes in the game and made it into a movie?

yeah, i was thinking that, and that would explain the horrible editing at every fight. but i've never seen this in any onimusha game.