heartbreak hotel

[MAxxx]

i am suffering from a severe heart break but recently i noticed i have two hearts

[scar47]

Originally Posted by skoubri

No matter how unlucky you are, how many bad things happen to you, I can't accept there aren't people that love you. I'm sure there are, maybe you can't see them right now because you are hurt. Don't let your sadness and disappointment get in your way!

eh... im just reminded of what may parent tried to do when i was entering this world.

my mother when she was 6 months pregnant with me she went to an abortion clinic and asked for a termenantion but they tured her away saying she was too far ahead but she didnt give up she found out about a place where they were testing a diluted cyonide solution that is injected into the mother's bloodstream and the system of the mother is supposed to be strong enough to resist the cyonide. the hopes of it were the mother would have a stillbirth and then could face the world and noone would say "she got an abortion shes evil etc". well they gave her the injection and i was presumably dead. in 30 cases 29 were complete. i was the 1 that survived my mom went to the delivery room by herself and she was surprised to have given birth to a living baby. i only found out one night when she was drunk and yelling at me screaming "i wish the abortion had worked" i went to the hospital she worked at and looked up her pregnacy files (i only got them becasue technically they pertained to me).... and well thats what i found to this day i havent told her what i found.... that is the only moment in my life where i was lucky.

[Devil Bat]

Originally Posted by crysjarl

hmmm, i feel compelled to also tell my story after reading the posts..lol

nway, it happened 3 years ago... im over it, but i guess some things, cant just be forgiven no matter how well u tried to forgive and forget... the story goes like this... im in a 3yr relationship wd this guy,my first bf..really thought he is the one...no probs wd each our family, so i kind of think that we will be married not far in the future...(guess i was so wrong!)

i started noticing some changes wd him, he is so aloof, not always texting me like he used too, not so attentive suddenly he said he just tired from wrk..then i heard rumors that he is seen wd some girl... i confronted him, but he denied it, so i let it pass...then after a few months, we went to this place to process some school documents, we were together,but after awhile, he just suddenly started to talked about if anything happens in the future, dont ever give up your dreams, be strong, etc..and then he cried... i was alarmed of course, though he did not elaborate what was wrong...i let it pass, thinking that he was stressed at worked...

another week passed, i was asked by a friend if im still wd my bf, are we still on???yes of course i answered.. they asked me to come to their place and that we have to talked about something... 4 of my friends started grueling questions if me and my bf, were fighting about something?? or did we break up???said no, we jsut saw each other a week before, everything is fine... so i started to panic, and got afraid... i told them to tell me whats wrong?? i started crying...

and then they told me, that my bf got married to another girl... a week ago..(day after we were together to process our shool paper)....and that the girl was pregnant, and that she was about to give birth!!! i was crying hysterically, thinking it was all made up( most of my friends dont really approved of him )....
i asked them who was the source of the news... i found out it was a common friend of his family that blurt out the news, thinking all the while that me and my bf are already broken up...

my whole world came crushing down... i could not believe that the person i loved, would do this to me...!!! i confronted him on the phone. i was crying all the while...( he was on another island, working) and he told me its true...he was also crying... he explained that the girl was a previous co worker, they had a one night stand.. the girl got preggy, and he did not want the child to be illegitimate...and that he did not love her..they did not live as a couple, they just got married for the sake of the baby, so that it will have a legitimate name....i dont know if it was all true...

but to this day, i still carry the grudge( i even cursed him not to find happiness ever again because of what he did),and even though i have move on now i still feel some pain when i remember it... on some level i understood him, but it was really a painful experience for me to ever get over....and i wish that someday everything will not be as painful..and that i will be able to forgive him little by little...

Holy shit. Your a strong girl. I'm a guy but if I was a girl and someone did that to me, I would've murdered them. Literally.

[skoubri]

@crysjarl: I will agree with eyeshield. You are a really REALLY strong girl. I can't even imagine what I'd do in your place. But I think your way of thinking is very mature and I understand that reaching the point to think that little by little you will be able to forgive him was really hard and painful. All I can say to you is that your way of facing all this shows a dignity that is rare nowadays. So keep it that way. And maybe this time it didn't work, but the future is waiting ahead so keep it all as a memory back in your mind and make the next step. Thank you for sharing your story, I bet it was hard to recall all that...

Originally Posted by scar47

eh... im just reminded of what may parent tried to do when i was entering this world.

my mother when she was 6 months pregnant with me she went to an abortion clinic and asked for a termenantion but they tured her away saying she was too far ahead but she didnt give up she found out about a place where they were testing a diluted cyonide solution that is injected into the mother's bloodstream and the system of the mother is supposed to be strong enough to resist the cyonide. the hopes of it were the mother would have a stillbirth and then could face the world and noone would say "she got an abortion shes evil etc". well they gave her the injection and i was presumably dead. in 30 cases 29 were complete. i was the 1 that survived my mom went to the delivery room by herself and she was surprised to have given birth to a living baby. i only found out one night when she was drunk and yelling at me screaming "i wish the abortion had worked" i went to the hospital she worked at and looked up her pregnacy files (i only got them becasue technically they pertained to me).... and well thats what i found to this day i havent told her what i found.... that is the only moment in my life where i was lucky.

I have a friend who has an older brother, a mother and a father. When his older brother was born, his father said he doesn't want more kids (by the way, he didn't want more kids because he wanted a son, only one heir. If his wife had given birth to a girl he would continue making children until he had the heir he wanted.He is a rich stupid guy with no brains. Period). But the mother got pregnant to my friend. His father didn't care if it was a boy or a girl, all he wanted was her to do an abortion. She tried to avoid it for a long time so that the doctor wouldn't do the abortion. when she was 4 months pregnant the father took her to the doctor and he told her that if she doesn't do the abortion, he would divorce her and take the custody of the child they already had. She went in the doctor but the last minute she couldn't do it and left with the robe still on. In the end the father accepted her to give birth to the child but he never cared about him. The moment my friend turned 18 he left the house and right now he is in england.
What I'm trying to say is that yes, I understand what you are trying to say, that the only time you were lucky was the moment the abortion didn't succeed and so is for my friend too. My friend didn't give up, and built his life in his own way. And yes, it was hard, yes it's painful. But you can't do otherwise. Life keeps moving. Time keeps rolling. So must you.

[DeathView]

i'm heat broken, because my brother stole my last chicken wing

[DarkAngle]

lol DV..
well mine happened a quite long time ago(umm about 3 years ago)...and i still cry thinking about it..well i had this friend we were the best of best friend since we first met 5 years before and then when we were 10 years old (grade 4 here) we had our streaming examination where we have to go to diffrent classes for the last two years of elementry school and we both got diffrent classes and marks she got to a better class and she started mixing with the idiotic bunch in my school and then when i went to say hi or talk to her she'd just ignore me as if i never existed.I got pretty upset and because of that it made me not trust anyone else and i had very little friends that are close to me i became very distant and never really considered others as a friend even if they talk to me all the time i chatted nicely with them they consider me a best friend but i lost all my trust with that one girl...now in my new school i am trying to build up what i lost and am slowly improving

[Tupac Shakur]

My heart is broken cause i just found out that ma kitchen is empty

[DeathView]

dude i share your pain

[DarkAngle]

Originally Posted by Tupac Shakur

My heart is broken cause i just found out that ma kitchen is empty

i feel for you man

[Tupac Shakur]

Thanks , i feel i can share my pain with the rest of ma empty-kitchen friends , try to hold in you're tears my friends